Part 63: Governor Boris And The Distressing Fact Playing Melee In This Game Fucking Sucks
Governor Boris And The Distressing Fact Playing Melee In This Game Fucking Sucks
Last time on Tyranny, Antio and Bitter Quip made us do all the work again.

Blah blah blah river blah blah blah penis.

The sages have some pretty vicious spells we're too broke to grab right now.

We intimidate one of the men into fleeing because I sure as hell don't want more Tyranny combat.

People aren't happy to see us.

I don't think I grabbed this last time I was here. It's in the upper right hand corner of the map.

Sybil gives a speech about how the guard won't abandon the village, blah blah blah.

This never gets old.

Hoo boy.

Remember when I said we were going to be more cruel this run?


The village is harboring stolen iron and you literally lured us to it.



So...when we were a mage with a ton of AoE disabling blast spells, this fight was a breeze. Now? Now it sucks!

That Sage has a decent lineup of control spells. Now, we don't really have a lot of spell slots - I've got three attack spells on Lantry, so we're just getting the melee guys confused and frightened. Boris is running a new talent I forgot to screencap - it's a battle stance that AoE taunts enemies every six seconds, making him the only tank in the game worth a damn. Of course, this means Sybil and the entire front line is wailing on Boris, so, uh....

Yea. We can't really do much about this!

I do discover that enemies have a fixed threat range and they will auto-retreat to their spawn point, so I try to run Barik off in the hopes of ending combat and getting everyone back up like you can sometimes do in Pillars of Eternity. It doesn't work.

After five tries I finally figure out some way to win this fight. I think it involved Boris in heavy armor and microing Lantry to actually cast his damn spells. The AI in this game is really bad and for some reason the devs think Lantry should be autoattacking with his quills. No.


God damn Antio is a worthless dumbass.





As the villagers are all still here, the choice to burn the down isn't just burning buildings but burning people alive in their homes.
We took the slavery choice last time.

That message is "Kyros is fucking insane and you need to resist at all costs."

Funny how Verse, despite supposedly being a psychopath, is subtly encouraging mercy here. Sure, it's forced conscription, but it's a damn sight better than being burned alive in your home.



As much as I hate to say it, Barik's not entirely wrong. The standard practice for violating a surrender oath and launching an insurrection against the Roman Empire (for example) was exactly the kind of shit Verse just talked us out of. Of course, this will do nothing to actually quell the rebellion and will just piss everyone off by turning a crappy reactionary faction into pop heroes.





TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Could you take mercy on the villagers? They're not warriors?
: No, but they're traitors. Maybe don't break your oath and rebel against Kyros?
:
Ah, you're playing melee... have fun, fucker!
: Ooooh, a prisoner with valuable intelligence!
: You should kill her, because I am dumb.
: She's all yours, Quip.
: I want a thing! Burn the village. Burn it! Fire! Fire! Heh-heh-heh!
: What? No, we should loot it and enslave the inhabitants instead.
: These fuckers made me reload five times, burn them all!
: Hey, boss, maybe we could get more use out of them as conscripts? We need armies to take the citadel.
: Sure, why not, do that.
: BAWWWW
: Yiss!
: I'm taking my ball and going home.

We find the missing iron and threaten to tell the Disfavored.

Blah blah blah ambush blah blah blah recruitment.

Return the iron because I need the cash for sigils.

I buy and have Lantry learn the Sigil of Guarded Form, as Boris is too dumb.

Dodge the Vendrien Guard/Brotherhood combined encounter, because holy shit are we going to be slaughtered as a melee PC.

We punch Death Knell for not warning us of an ambush. Boris is a mean man. It's kind of weird that we get wrath for punching Death Knell, but favor for shoving the gate guard around. My guess is that we're supposed to fight her instead of hiding behind Fatebinder status? Who knows.


It's time to chat with Sirin.

Um, kid, what the fuck?




Yes, yes, and yes.





Wow, we sucker punched a woman and now we're being a dick to an abused teenager. Good job, Boris.
Yes, I clicked the buttons. Shhh.

I'm not sure how actually manipulative Sirin is being and how much of this really is a desperate cry for help. I know one of the devs said Sirin was his favorite character to write because of how screwed up she is, but Sirin is literally a friendless child kept enslaved and under constant armed guard trying to find someone who won't treat her like shit.



Not animated: a wave of power from Sirin knocking people down.


Well now, that's just rude.








Welp.



At least Lantry thinks we're cool. What if we pester Sirin again?

Sirin accurately identifies the dumbest member of the party.






Jesus Sirin. If we talk to her again, she just tells us "You are not welcome here".
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Oh, look, it's the Fatebinder. Are you here to punish me, or do you just need my power? Huh?
: Remember me? You took my cult and sent them to die. Was Kyros jealous? Huh? Let me tell you a secret - these guards are to keep me in line. I'm only 15! I'm not a threat to anyone! I'm guessing you're here for Ashe and Nerat?
: Holy shit, I can talk now, after all those words? What are you, a Numenera character?
: That was mean and low, Fatebinder! I'm crying now! How could you compare me to one of those trolley loving freaks? NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME! They just want to use me for my power!
: Um, I'm gonna leave like an asshole before you and Death Knell form the "women who hate Boris" club.
: No, you're not going to do that, because I have mind control powers. Now, remove my helmet.
: Nope. Now, as penance, I demand exposition.
: Fuck off.
: You know the Archon? Sweeeet!
: Actually, Barik, you look like a dumbass, you remove it.
: Nope, Barik, I'm grabbing you so you can't do that.
: Thank you, Fatebinder. Now, Archon, with all due respect, I'm getting a restraining order.
: Lol good luck bitch.

A lot of people in the thread pointed out you can actually help out poor Vittles here.











Oooh, sassing the Fatebinder...not a good move.





This really clashes with Sirin being legally a child, but you know what, I am totally ok with keeping fifteen year olds as children in a fantasy videogame.


Boris is about to ruin this man's whole career.



I see this young man is a Fatebinder in the making.



TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Hey, important looking dude, can you help me out? I'm not supposed to be here! I'm just a kid, dude!
: Oh, yeah, that's super illegal. Let me speak to your gang leader.
: Hey you dumb fucking Fatebinder I was getting high and gambling what's this bullshit?
: You know this kid's not 15, right? That means he can't fight under Nerat's laws.
: Cool, he's a slave now.
: Actually that makes you his bitch.
: Remember how you used to hit me all the time, asshole? Ha ha sweet I can hit him and he can't hit me back! This fucking rules!
: Fuck.

There's a Lore trainer in the Chorus camp, so we raise Lore on Boris and Lantry before wandering off into the wilderness.

I love that even Tunon knows these two Archons are complete fuckups.

Fake Limp here gives us the assignment to go capture Florian while he fucks around.

We just murder his ass. It procs a trap where some Vendrien Guard guys hit us from behind.

It doesn't save them. In my defense, for some reason I thought you had to have saved the brother for Florian to surrender.


That's great, I don't take orders from Fifth Eye.





TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: You killed Florian? BAWWWWW!

We go round up the Earthshakers and accuse them of treason, then go back to the Disfavored war camp. I turn in that quest offscreen, and show off one adjudication I didn't show off last playthrough.




Wrong thing to say!


















TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: It's my helmet, I found it!
: Give us the helmet or we're gonna break Kyros' Peace.
: I'm sorry, did someone say "break Kyros' Peace?"
: Fuck.
: May I see the helmet? Oh, yes, this is a masterwork forged by the Forge-Bound Master of Fitting.
: Yiss!
: Shit, really? Here's some money, pirate guy, now fuck off!
NOW we can deal with the Archons.










I dunno dude, maybe because you're a god damn moron who marched his troops into first a fuckoff Edict we personally warned everyone to stay away from, and then into an obvious trap river?



Look, man, you were just gonna stick a spike up his ass and turn him into an ineffectual boss fight summon.



Look, Nerat, it's not our fault you didn't commit sufficient forces to capture Florian.

Specifically, the Fatebinder did most of the work with an assist from a few Scarlet Furies.

We're just not making friends today.

If by "taking the lead" you mean "drowning because the local commander was too inept to recognize a feigned retreat", I suppose that is an accurate statement.


Nerat's writing the reddit post as we speak.


Remember when Eb said that the Disfavored had a prisoner swapping agreement?

That's not a denial!



Nerat's as quick as Boris.

Of course, he's been playing Ashe like a fiddle this entire time.





Ashe is desperately trying to change the subject right now, because Nerat is going to pounce all over him.

The only thing that could maybe salvage this situation right now is Tunon showing up in person, and he's not going to work against Kyros' magic to get into the valley.


Decisions lie before us!
Are we going with Ashe and the Disfavored, or Nerat and the Chorus? Choose wisely! Whichever one we select is going to be our new BFF/inadvertent power base for the rest of the game, no betrayals or take backs!